Saskatchewan
Why would you want to know where Saskatchewan is? Saskatchewan doesn't exist! Saskatchewan History It all started long ago when a man named Tommy Douglas came to Saskatchewan from the magical land of Winnipeg. The land was inhabited by the Saskatchewanites and they were ruled by an evil giant known as "The Great Depression". Tommy challenged the giant to a great battle. The giant accepted but only if there was a wager. Tommy asked him "What do you want?" in which the giant replied "If you win you can have all my gold but you can only use it for health care and you can not touch my outhouse shrines, but if I win you must go away and never return." Tommy reluctantly accepted and the battle began. The giant fought hard, but Tommy defeated him with only one throw of Wascana Lake water into his face. He was instantly blinded. He allowed the money to go out but he would eat 3 doctors per year so that the level of doctors was low. As revenge Tommy blew up all the outhouses. Saskatchewan Today Today Saskatchewan is free but we still dread the day when their doctors are RUN OUT!!! Nurses in Saskatchewan still complain to this day about money as they have been since the first person that settled in Saskatchewan got a nosebleed from fighting a moose back in 1774. Saskatchewan Landmarks Biggest Gopher and Magpie. Longest bridge over shortest span of water. Legislative building. World's biggest Tim Hortons. Doesn't matter where they are because you can see them from anywhere in Saskatchewan! Famous People From Saskatchewan * Jack Bauer's Mother * Jack Bauer's Hemroids * Jack Bauer's Water Softener * William Shatner * Fidel Castro * Rush Limpballs * That Singer, Ya That One * Dick Assman * The Mutants With Watermelons For Heads * Man from Weyburn who was the 1st person in Canada charged with drinking and driving on a medi-chair A Typical Day In Saskatchewan * E6:00 Wake up * 6:15 scrape car windows * 7:15 Eat breakfast (Maple syrup) * 8:00 Put on Rider gear * 8:15 Fight of the beavers, moose and bears * 8:30 Enjoy free health care * 9:00 Go to Tim Horton's * 10:00 Go to work as fur trader * 11:00 Complain about Justin Trudeau * 12:00 Eat lunch (poutine) * 1:00 Go back to work * 5:00 Go home and eat supper (more poutine) * 6:00 Watch news * 7:00 Watch Coronation Street * 8:00 Watch Rick Mercer Report * 8:30 Watch Corner Gas * 9:00 Watch Little Mosque on the Prairie * 9:30 Go to bed * 1:30 wake up and watch the Colbert Report and go back to bed Strange Laws in Saskatchewan * It is illegal to allow a chicken to cross the road * It is illegal to drink any hard alcohol other than rye * All clothing with hoods must be called bunnyhugs * Chocolate milk must be called THE LEGENDARY BROWN COW MALK Why Saskatchewan exists * It has the population of North Dakota. But it is Better. * Home of great politicians such as Tommy Douglas & Diefenbaker * Socialized medi-care (see Tommy Douglas) * Saskatchewanites are known for driving very well in harsh/mild conditions and laugh at all the people who moved here to find jobs and are all crashing their cars when the weather dipped below zero. * Saskatchewan has the most elbow space of all of the Provinces! * Has the Saskatchewan Roughriders, The best Canadian Football team *Won the Grey Cup TAKE THAT MANITOBA *Just to piss off the eastern "have not" province of Ontario. See also *Manitoba